Finned (The Merworld Water Wars#1) by Sutton Shields
Published: November 2012
Take a fish-phobic girl, divide her by one hot merman, add a splash of his crazy ex-merbitch, and you get one stinky school year.
Sixteen-year-old Marina Valentine is a rule-stretcher in an uptight Texas seaside town. She’s hormonally challenged, curious to a fault, hates fish, and has a dating resume that makes the queen look like a slut. It’s not that guys don’t ask her out. They do. She just has an unfortunate reaction to dating—uncontrollable gags. It’s not exactly a turn on.
One by one, her oddball friends start disappearing—much to the joy of the snobby high school royals—and Marina fears she is a walking bull’s eye. Inquiries into their disappearances lead to startling, gag-worthy discoveries. Toss in an increasingly inconvenient attraction to one of the royals—who holds the key to solving the mystery…in his fin—and it’s an anti-fish girl’s worst nightmare come true. Soon, Marina finds herself at the center of a looming underwater war that’s really going to play games with her love life.
As time closes in—and the Merpeople officially come out of the ocean—Marina must choose between the lives of her friends, the future of an underwater utopia, and the life of her first love. There’s just one problem. Where does a love-shy, fish-phobic, non-mergirl even begin…especially when her enemy may be the one person she trusted above everyone else?
Two words: Freaking Awesome.
My favorite books are always the ones that I continually quote throughout and find I simply MUST repeat the character’s lines without fail like every other paragraph. Seriously. And Finned went like this:
“He kept staring at my legs. Did my jeans offend him?” *chuckle*snort* BB repeats line aloud to be certain it’s as funny as it sounds INSIDE my head.
It totally is! *giggle*snort* some more… 2 sentences later:
“Keep an eye on Mr. Smarmy.” *hehe* the whole process then repeats itself.
Okay, so down to business!! Were you wondering if I was actually ever getting to the REVIEW part of this ‘book review’? 
Marina Valentine has been BANNISHED by a chick with “lime green hair, orange eyes, and a nose the size of Chesapeake Bay Bridge.” (you like the word pictures as much as I do, don’t you?) for reading (tarot) cards.
She apparently predicted two murders and aided terrorist mentality!! I know right? One of those murders was her very own father, and the Imperia Canon of Peculiar Malfunctions chose to ignore her, and then banish her and her mother AFTER the fact. As a part of her banishment, Marina is blocked from ANY future reading, or they’ll kill her immediately!
“Should you touch even a single card with a bare or gloved hand, we will know, as will the Imperia. Such an offense will result in your immediate execution.”
Hmmm… Smells fishy to me!!
Her and her mother are banished to Saxet Shores, Texas where the ‘Normals’ (anyone who doesn’t belong to the Ravenflames or the Fairhairs) are shunned.
“painting her nails her favorite color, Undead Red.” … Ummm I believe I need this color. I mean REALLY.
“we’ll throw you a going-to-die party. That’s polite, right?”
Marina’s mom is simply an EPIC, EPIC character… She’s hilarious and every time she popped up in a scene, I knew laughing would soon ensue.
“My keys are gone! Someone’s stolen my keys! Wait. Found them. Let’s go.” … This is the STORY of my life!!! Whenever I can’t find something- someone has stolen it!!!!! Until I find it in the refrigerator or somewhere equally inappropriate. *sigh*
Troy Tombolo … Fairhair and local heartthrob has stolen Marina’s attention, but they can never be together because of the social hierarchy and its plain to see that something BIGGER than meets the eye is going on.
A series of disappearances, her mother goes completely crazy and Troy FINALLY confesses his feelings for Marina in a very BOY-like way (insensitive jerks!) … and Marina isn’t sure she can take anymore. But she’s about to find out she can survive all that and MORE.
Marina was a fantastic character, her mother was SIMPLY FABULOUS and Troy had some SUPER swoon-worthy moments when his guy-filter was working…
“My heart stops when I’m near you and bleeds when I’m away from you.”
*dies*
FINNED is a fun, sharp-witted tale of Merpeople, Normals, first love, some heart-pounding action and a centuries old war that everyone is still fighting.
And MerRacing?? Oh. My. God. BEST THING EVER!!! Seriously- one of the coolest freaking scenes I’ve ever read in my life. Troy is like the Kyle Busch of the Merworld. I love it!!
