A Letter from a Teenage Zombie…

 A Letter from a Teenage Zombie...

 

I’ve made no secret of my affinity toward the book Zombies Don’t Cry! If you’ve been following this blog for awhile then surely already know this! ZDC is absolutely fabulous and you should read it immediately!

For your reading enjoyment and a huge ego booster for me… here is a:

Letter from a Teenage Zombie… 

A Guest Post by Rusty Fischer, author of Zombies Don’t Cry

Dear Ash,
You don’t know me, but… I’m a zombie.Yeah, I’m not real happy about it, either, but… them’s the facts.It’s not so bad, being a zombie I mean. I miss hamburgers, and buns, and French fries and shakes, but… if you put brains on ketchup, it kinda tastes the same.Well, not exactly but… close enough.

You might be wondering why I chose to write to you today.

Well, a couple things; one, “Ash” is a GREAT zombie name. (Not like Stamp, which is the worst name, EVER, for EVERY thing!)

For another, I love brunettes, so a brunette who runs a site called “The Bookish Brunette”? That’s practically a no-brainer. (Get it? ‘Cause zombies eat brains? See what I did there?)

I’m not so big on the “bookish” part. I never was a big reader and especially not now, but the brunette part? I can dig it! (“Dig” it? See what I did there? ‘Cause zombies have to be dug up? Well, I did anyway…)

Anyway, my girlfriend Maddy used to be a brunette, that is… before she became one of the living dead and her hair grew kind of limp and almost, but not quite, gray. Not that I wouldn’t love her no matter what color hair she had, but… it’s kind of complicated.

For another, well, it’s clear you dig zombie books. In fact, you go on and on about the book Maddy wrote about me – without my permission, obviously, but what am I gonna do? – called Zombies Don’t Cry.

Yeah, it’s a good thing zombies don’t cry because I’d be balling my undead eyes out right about now, but then… you don’t have to go spreading that around, okay? (This letter *is* private, right?)

See, the thing is, I’m not sure Maddy was ever my girlfriend. I mean, yeah, okay, when she still had a heartbeat I think she kind of had the hots for me, but… that didn’t last long.

Her heartbeat, I mean; not the hots. Although, come to think of it, she pretty much lost her heartbeat AND the hots for me on the same day. (Yeah, come to think of it, that might explain a lot!)

That’s when she met “Dane.” She said he was just her “Chaperone through the Afterlife” but… I’m not stupid. I see how they look at each other. How could you not?

I don’t see it. I mean, dude looks weak. All scrawny and veiny with that close-cropped hair and the same stupid hoodie all the time. And those big, black eyes. Seriously? She’s gonna get with that over… over… me?

Okay, so I’m not much to look at these days either, but… I’m more to look at than Dane, that’s for sure.

Maddy says I’m crazy; she says I’m just imagining things but even though I was a dumb jock for years and years when I was still alive, becoming one of the undead has really opened my eyes and I’m almost, well, I know I am – I’m smarter now.

Smarter about girls, and guys, and how they look at each other. Maddy and Dane might be as cold as the back of my Mom’s freezer but, the way they look at each other could melt the Eiffel Tower, which is appropriate because isn’t that, like, the most romantic place on earth?

Lately I’ve been fantasizing about pushing them both off of the very, tippy-top of the Eiffel Tower but… big deal. They’re zombies! They’d get up, put a splint on the either side of each leg and stumble off, hand in broken hand.

See what I mean, Ash? I can’t win for losing! It seems like Maddy was only hot for me when I was alive but, now that we’re both dead, I can’t compete with a dude who’s been as dead as long as Dane.

So here’s what I propose; you’re a living chick, right? And a brunette? Maybe you’d dig hanging out with a living dead guy from time to time. Nothing serious, unless you’re into that. Maybe you could just use me for inspiration when you write your zombie book reviews, huh?

It’s not like Maddy or Dane would miss me, you know?

Yours in the Afterlife,
Stamp Crosby, formerly deceased

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My poor Stamp… I still love you darling. I hate to say it but, Maddy is better off with Dane. I have a fabulous idea- Let’s cuddle until you feel better!!!!

________________________________

About the author: Rusty Fischer is the author of Zombies Don’t Cry, out now in print from Medallion Press. He also has a new EBookcoming out from Decadent Publishing called Ushers,Inc. Visit his blog, www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com, for news, reviews, cover leaks, YA writing and publishing advice, book excerptsand more! 

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 A Letter from a Teenage Zombie...

 

 

Zombies Don’t Cry
by Rusty Fischer
Published: 5/2011 by Medallion Press
___________

Blog Signature Ash A Letter from a Teenage Zombie...

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 A Letter from a Teenage Zombie...
Book loving, zombie freak, stiletto wearing, twitter whore, coffee addicted Brunette with a purse fetish. Collector of flamingo paraphernalia & zombie keepsakes… Frequenter of thrift stores... cRaFtY bitch... and I match my eye-shadow to my outfit - everyday.

33 Responses to A Letter from a Teenage Zombie…

  1. Rusty rocks as did that letter. Damn you even get letters from the dead. That's so bad ass. Dead people don't ever write to me. Watch I've jinxed it now the dead will be on my case all the time. I won this book and I'm looking forward to reading it. Stamp seems cool for a brain nibbler looking forward to getting to read about him other than his personal private letter.

  2. Misha says:

    That's the most hilarious letter I've read! Don't you feel creeped out about getting letters from the dead? :D

  3. Jess- I think you'll love it!! I totally did, it's one of my FAVS!!Misha- Hell no! I love it!! ;)

  4. Jennie says:

    Ok, that was an awesome and fun letter! ;)I wish a fictional character would write me one… Hahaha

  5. HAHAHAHA too funny!!! I am definitely interested in reading the book now

  6. M.A.D. says:

    That was a riot! Awesome concept, loved her perspective – brains on ketchup hahahaI give this 5 Z-plus (like getting an A+ only BETTER);D

  7. That is the coolest letter ever!!I want one from a Zombie :) Haven't read alot of Zombie books I am just now getting into them. Love your Blog. Will have to check this one out. Did you say this was the second one?Great Letter!!!

  8. Rebecca says:

    WOW! Best letter ever. That's so cool.

  9. Kathy says:

    This is so cute, and so much fun. One of the more unique guest posts I've seen.

  10. Pabkins says:

    I just saw this one in the bookstore. It was a nice letter – I'll have to point it out to my kid sister I think it might be just her thing!

  11. ROFL!Oh be careful Ashley when you cuddle… don't want to come back with any extra parts… or any missing ones either! ;)

  12. Pabkins says:

    You know – I do actually love alot of YA – I read the whole "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" trilogy by Carrie Ryan while I was on my honeymoon. Among alot of other books – I'm a speed reader – is sickens my husband how many books I go through… but hey 16 hours traveling there and back to Italy leaves a girl a lot of time for reading!Since you loved it so much – I will put it in my cart!By the way – if you haven't read Carrie Ryan – I recommend it.

  13. Pabkins says:

    That's funny you say you weren't impressed with FotHT – I really wasn't either after I read the first – hated how she acted mostly. But I'm one of those – I started it I must finish it sort of people! So this extended to thw whole trilogy. So I read 2 and 3. I enjoyed 3 the most (probably because the main character wasn't such a whiner about things like the other two). It just grew on me. Its not a must read but hey I enjoyed it lol.

  14. Pabkins says:

    It's the third book that redeems the other two. So isn't that what alot of YA is – some youngster crushing on someone else? I simply must know if there is better YA out there – because some of the stuff I've read (leaves something to be desired). I started having to read it because I had given my kid sister a big batch of books from my pile that was going to go to the used book store – most of them were ones I never got around to reading. So the step mom was ticked when a few turned out to have "adult" content – hey give me a break i didn't know – i didn't read them lol. So from then on – I was tasked with – screening her reading material. Thank goodness she's 18 now and that's over.

  15. Mel says:

    Such a great letter – sometimes even dead guys get the blues… :)

  16. HA!! That was great…well done…err Stamp. What a cool letter. ( get it cool..err..cold..they are dead)Michelle A.

  17. Chrystal says:

    OMG! That has to be the coolest guest post I've ever seen. I love it! I also bought the book for my ereader a few weeks ago. I plan to read it soon and it's all because of you and writing about how much you loved it. :) Thanks!

  18. Vivien says:

    Definitely a great concept!! Hilarious :)

  19. Andra says:

    Awweee Poor Stamp…that is a little bit odd of a name for a zombie…lol this was a fantastic post :D Can't wait to get my zombie on in Zombies Don't Cry

  20. Miss Lauren says:

    Damn this book sounds sooo good! I want, I want!

  21. Alyssa@Teens Read and Write says:

    Hysterical! Sad when you're competition has the edge because he's been dead longer!

  22. That was way rad. :)And Stamp is an odd name but I can think of way worse!

  23. Love the letter!!! I'll be getting to this one ASAP!!!

  24. Ann @Semisweet says:

    This ones been on my must read list since amazon repeatedly and unabashedly shoved it in my face in the form of a recommendation. Glad you liked it, I can't wait to get to it! : )

  25. Haha! I love the letter! :) I think I like Stamp. This book sounds great! xSierra

  26. Kristin says:

    Really funny letter!I've been on his site before and I'm thinking he must be a zombie and doesn't have to sleep 'cause unless he's 100 years old, how does he have enough time to write everything he's published?!

  27. lol i loved this post! this book sounds awesome! i must get!

  28. [...] A Letter from a Teenage Zombie by Rusty Fischer [...]

  29. [...] Remember, last year I got A Letter From A Teenage Zombie??? [...]

  30. [...] A Letter from a Teenage Zombie by Rusty Fischer [...]

  31. [...] and totally freaking badass!!! I wonder if that’s Dane or Stamp on the cover???Remember my Letter from a Teenage Zombie??? Shhyea that was totally Stamp!! SQUEEEEEE!!!!Read my Review of Zombies Don’t Cry by Rusty [...]

  32. [...] → Letter from a Teenage Zombie → Zombie Queen of Flickers Cinema → The Living Dead Queen of Zombie High → Read my Review of Vamplayers → Read my Review of Ushers Inc → Review of Zombies Don’t Cry by Rusty Fischer [...]

  33. [...] → Letter from a Teenage Zombie → Zombie Queen of Flickers Cinema → The Living Dead Queen of Zombie High → Read my Review of Vamplayers → Read my Review of Ushers Inc → Review of Zombies Don’t Cry by Rusty Fischer [...]

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